I love Marmite

That’s what they all say

Love it till I die

Come what may

Come to Trafalgar Square

On Marmite Day
Pigeons may fly

By the Marmite Lovers stay

They all hold hands

Gooey though they may be

Licking their lips

Drooling happily

Marmite’s the butt of every joke

Laughed at by the City gents and the country folk

But mark my words, it’ll have its day

And everyone will love it in their own, special way

(Please play this miserable movie) >

Me? Leave me alone

I have all I want

It’s love on the back

And it’s love on the front

In the cup

On the spoon

Spread with the knife

On my tongue soon

The Queen, she loves it

And Philip does, too

Spreads it on her sandwiches

Nothing else to do

He drinks it at night

Before he goes to bed

Has one final dreamy sip

Then lays down his sweet head

You either love it or hate

There’s nothing in between

Whether President of USA

Or Her Majesty the Queen

Gotta be born into it

Can’t acquire the taste

It’s a bit like mother’s milk

Otherwise such a waste

You think I’m not serious?

This is no joke

Marmite’s caused splits

Between otherwise loving folks

Don’t kiss your friend

If he’s just had a bite

If you’re one of the haters

It’ll turn your hair white

They’re so clever, those Marmite guys

Bring out specials; you wonder why

Off to the super

To buy …and buy

Limited Edition

All painted in gold

Perhaps a good investment

When it gets old

It’s all based on yeast

That comes from the beers

Tastes as salty as hell

But who cares over the years

Then the Guinness edition came along

Now it was good for you, or were they wrong?

I tasted it, I smiled, I licked my lips as before
Then I packed my tennis things and walked out of the door

(This is the image of the Guinness edition as seen through the eyes of one who has just downed their 3rd pint)

Now it’s XO – that’s ‘Extra Old’ for you

Black label for elegance – a classy box, too

Matured for years, even saltier than before

If you hated Marmite then, you’ll now hate it more

Met a collector recently at an Art and Crafts show

Showed me a sealed jar of XO – he was in the know

That special look, slight smile, finger at the head

It’ll be worth more – after he’s dead

They make it here, they make it there

They try to copy Marmite everywhere

Vegans don’t care, it’s good for them too

And Vitamin B, great for me and you

But when it comes down to it

When the real good is assessed

For making friends amongst enemies

Marmite’s the best

Grab that jar and fold it to your chest

Know that its contents really are the best

Slowly unscrew that lid, no matter the wait

For inside are the ingredients of your best mate

                               The End