Mel’s Ten Tips on how to Survive the Sports Craze

This book is primarily for those whose partners spend the summer (and sometimes the entire year) plopped in front of the television, watching Wimbledon and other tennis championships, the Euroleague, and soon the Olympics in Rio.

If your guy is addicted to watching sports, and is glued to the tv set, then my advice to you is: Don’t try to unglue him. Indulge him. You can indulge yourself too. Here are my best ten tips for things to do while your partner isn’t paying the least bit attention.

Tip One:

Take that trip you’ve always wanted. He won’t even know you’re gone.

Tip Two:

Redo the kitchen. Just make sure that the fridge is stacked with beer. He won’t notice.

Tip three:

Splurge. Go wild. Buy yourselves a new wardrobe. Shoes. A sapphire necklace. Be sure to mention your purchases to him during the tense moments in the game. You can always tell him you told him about it when the bank statements arrive.

Tip four:

Write a book. You’ve been waiting for the chance to write, but haven’t found the time? Now’s the time. Curl yourself up in a room where there is no television, and write your novel. Children’s book. Thriller. I have a great platform for publishing it.

Tip five:

Cosmetic surgery. By the time he comes out of his sports coma, you can have your lips, boobs, and other places filled out, your stomach tucked in. Again, he won’t notice. But he wouldn’t notice anyway.

Tip six:

Learn a musical instrument.

Now is the opportunity for you to learn to play violin, saxophone, tuba, or sing opera. As long as the tv is turned up loud enough he won’t even know. Be sure to buy yourself a brand new quality instrument and tell him during the fourth quarter of the football game. By the time he recovers from his stupor, you’ll be gigging at local functions.

Tip seven:

Hire a trainer.

If he is good looking, make sure that he comes over to the house during a game and introduce him. That way you can always say that your husband met him and knew all about it.

Tip eight:

Go out with the ladies. Every night he is watching sports. Don’t stay home and sulk. Go out and boogie.

This image was originally posted to Flickr by Internet Archive Book Images at https://flickr.com/photos/126377022@N07/14762566771.It was reviewed on 2 באוקטובר 2015 by the FlickreviewR robot and was confirmed to be licensed under the terms of the No known copyright restrictions.

Tip Nine:

Read your whole book list. If you’re not an extroverted boogier, then you can spend the evenings sipping wine and reading your book list. Remember all the books you never had time to read. No time is better than now!

This image was originally posted to Flickr by State Library of New South Wales collection at http://flickr.com/photos/29454428@N08/5882587233.

It was reviewed on12 ביולי 2015 by the FlickreviewR robot and was confirmed to be licensed under the terms of the No known copyright restrictions.

Tip Ten:

If all else fails, become a sports lover yourself. Drink beer. Show interest. Wear sexy lingerir (after his friends go home, I reckon). Your sex life will thrive. And even if it doesn’t, at least you’ll know who won the game.