Lost for Control

Narrator
Adel Hosni, a 24 year old shop vendor, was returning home late from work to his wife. His wife, Houda Hatem, had been waiting for him to come home for a long time. She had already started to get worried.

Houda
Where have you been all that time? I got worried about you! More importantly, did you get your raise at work?

Adel
[sighs] I am starving, did you prepare the beef stew?

Houda
Here, have some leftover Kushari from 3 weeks ago.

Adel
But it’s Friday, where is the beef stew?, you know that I love beef stew, it is Friday for god’s sake.

Houda
I didn’t feel like preparing beef stew. Did you get your raise at work?

Adel
[sighs] I didn’t. I couldn’t. I asked the shop owner for it. Instead of giving it to me, he made me work extra hours until 8 PM.

Houda
But it’s almost 11 PM now, where were you?

Adel
…he also made me clean up the shop before closing [sighs].

Houda
Adel, honey, listen to me and continue your education. At the very least you should have a primary school degree! Nobody is asking you to rule a country, but it would at least help you get a better job.

Narrator
Little did she know, saying that to him was the straw that broke the camel’s back.

Adel
I don’t need to hear any of that now. I am going for a walk, give me my coat.

Houda
Your coat? Your brother has borrowed it a month ago and never returned it.

Adel
[sighs] why would he even bother…

Narrator
Adel went out for the walk he wanted. Out of frustration he was kicking every stone, stick or tin can he sees, specifically tin cans. It seemed like he had a special hatred for them, he was taking out all his frustration on the tin cans he sees. As he kicked one of the cans, it started shaking and rumbling in a peculiar manner…

Genie
[yawns] yeah go ahead, what is it?

Narrator
Adel fell in complete silence as if he had lost his tongue.

Genie
you summoned me, didn’t you? don’t waste my time now, go ahead, wish your wish!

Adel
w…w..wish? I get a wish? Well, I wish that… wait a minute.. isn’t it supposed to be 3 wishes?

Genie
umm uh n-no it is not, no no. who told you that?! It was the old-school genies that umm… that granted 3. I am a busy genie, I am generous enough to even grant you this one wish Adel, so don’t waste your chance.

Adel
[under his breath] I don’t even have control over my wishes? [sighs]. I wish that I had control over people, I wish had the authority to give orders, I wish that I was ruling a country.

Genie
YOUR WISH IS MY ORDER ADEL HOSNI!

Narrator
It seems that the genie had made Adel the ruler of Natsrugzo, a distant and isolated island in the pacific. The island has recently been through a military coup, and the citizens of the country were waiting for their new leader to reveal himself. The whole population is unaware of any peculiar manipulations, even Houda couldn’t recognize that anything has changed. Only Adel knows that his wish had been applied and now he is living through it.

IN THE PRESIDENTIAL PALACE

Adel
Which country do I rule now? Why haven’t you asked me about my choice? How are you even a genie!

Genie
you rule the glorious nation of Natsrugzo. You wished to rule a country, and here you are.

(Shots fired in a distance)

Adel
what was that? What is going on here, were these bullets?

Genie
well… you see… Natsrugzo recently had a violent coup, and this is how you came to power.

Adel
Impossible! I would never accept coming to power over the blood and corpses of citizens.

Genie
you have no other choice here. I was generous enough to grant your wish even though you haven’t even finished primary school.

Adel
I haven’t even asked for much, I didn’t ask to rule America or Russia, it’s their loss. Just find me a small country in a rural place, and I will show you an example of democracy and justice that makes other countries envious of me.

Genie
all of these criterion are met here in Natsrugzo, I don’t get why are you objecting.

Adel
I guess I have no choice again. How are the people here?

Genie
they are one of the most tolerant and obedient populations around.

Adel
I don’t mind it then. I accept ruling over them, I am doing them a favor.

Narrator
The genie disappears and Adel becomes officially in power of Natsrugzo and its people.

Houda
[yawns] good morning my dear, why are you up so early, what are you doing?

Adel
I have an important announcement for the citizens, I am getting ready to broadcast it on television. I don’t want any interruptions. As a matter of fact, make me some beef stew.

Houda
for breakfast?! I mean, y-y-yes I will prepare it as soon as I can.

Adel (THROUGH THE TELEVISION)
My dear citizens, I have done this courageous act only for you sake, and for the sake of enforcing democracy upon you. To enforce my democracy, I have decided the following; amendment number one: Natsrugzo is now a dictatorship. Amendment number two: I, Adel Hosni, control the dictatorship with the official title of ‘the terrible vicious dictator’. Amendment number three: I will rule for 20 years only, and don’t even bother to beg me to rule for more. Amendment number four: The name of our island will be changed to ‘The dictatorship of the people’s republic of Natsrugzo’.

Houda
my dear, your beef stew is ready, come eat while it’s warm.

Adel
I can’t, I am busy fixing this country. I need to make another announcement.

Adel (THROUGH THE BROADCAST SPEAKERS)
My dear citizens, this is dictator decision number 7, to tackle the traffic jams problem, I have decided to make all the roads one-way only. If you go, never return back. Stay just, stay honest.

Narrator
Adel has decided to assign ministers to their positions. He calls his only friend, whom owned a mechanic shop next to his shop, and asks him to come and bring some of his best men to occupy minister positions.

Nazeef
My glorious dictator, I have brought you the best men for the job. I entrust them with my life, these are: Shedeed, Aneed, Bakheel and Jaheel. Jaheel is also mute by the way.

Adel
Perfect! Jaheel, you will be the minister of education. That way, nobody will speak ill of me. Shedeed, you will be the minister of interior, govern with an iron fist. That way, nobody shall revolt against me. Aneed, you will be the minister of exterior. Cut our relations with all neighboring countries effective immediately. Bakheel, you will be the minister of finances. You have a total budget of 20 Rugzo pounds, spend it wisely. Nazeef, you shall be the prime minister overlooking all of your men.

Bakheel
But my leader, since the coup our pounds have lost value and we are in the state of inflation.

Adel
The solution is simple, print a new currency with my name and picture on it. I will call it Rugzo franks. To celebrate the new currency, lets grant each citizen 5 franks.

Bakheel
but sir, if we give every citizen 5 franks the country’s treasury will suffer.

Adel
then take from each of them 10 franks as taxes for the enforcement of the new currency. Give them the reward, then immediately enforce more taxes. Take notes Bakheel, this is how you manage finances.

Narrator
Adel continued practicing his dictatorship and authority over the people. He was replacing his ministers day and night, there wasn’t a single day that passed without having at least one minister changed. The only two ministers that have never been changed were Nazeef and Shedeed, Adel seemed to have a particular liking for them. One day Adel decided to read a book, and he was discussing its content with Houda…

Adel
So yeah it is about a new system called ‘Communism’.

Houda
Communism? What is that exactly?

Adel
you see, I knew you wouldn’t know it, only rulers of countries know about these things. Communism is when the whole population work all day, and by the end of the day, the government collects all the profits.

Houda
then what happens to the money, where does it go?

Adel
..we have it I said.

Houda
yes, but after you have it, what happens to it?

Adel
well, I haven’t read the rest of the book to know.

Houda
why don’t you then? Go ahead, read the rest.

Adel
why would I? I like the book up until here so far, so I am going to apply only to that point.

Houda
of course me dear, you are always right. I congratulate you.

Adel (THROUGH THE BROADCAST SPEAKERS)
My dear citizens, this is dictator decision number 6894, our financial system is now communist. Stay just, stay honest.

Narrator
after some time, Shedeed requested an immediate meeting with Adel.

Shedeed
my glorious dictator, the communists in the country are protesting, they say this is not how communism works.

Adel
my country has communists?! Arrest and imprison them immediately!

Adel (THROUGH THE BROADCAST SPEAKERS)
My dear citizens, this is dictator decision number 11736, our financial system is now capitalist. Stay just, stay honest.

Narrator
once again, Shedeed requested another immediate meeting with Adel.

Shedeed
my glorious dictator, the capitalists in the country are protesting, they say what you have applied is not capitalism.

Adel
my country has capitalists?! Arrest and imprison them immediately!

Adel (THROUGH THE BROADCAST SPEAKERS)
My dear citizens, this is dictator decision number 27911, our financial system is now commu-list. Stay just, stay honest.

Narrator
This time, Nazeef himself requested an immediate meeting with Adel.

Nazeef
Sir, the population is confused, they say they don’t understand which system are we adopting now.

Adel
It means I have finally succeeded. Thanks to my tireless efforts the country now is perfect. Listen Nazeef if you find anybody who understands our financial system then arrest and imprison them immediately.

Nazeef
There is one more issue sir, there are protests from the population they say…

Adel
Never repeat that again! Never say the population, it is only a troublesome minority.

Nazeef
… a troublesome minority is saying that they can’t find even bread to eat.

Adel
Then arrest the bakers.

Nazeef
The bakers say they don’t get flour from the mills.

Adel
Then arrest the millers.

Nazeef
The millers say they don’t get wheat from the farmers.

Adel
Then arrest the farmers.

Nazeef
if we do so, we won’t have anything left to eat.

Adel
Then arrest those who don’t eat.

Narrator
one day, Adel was in a parade to promote his newly painted self-portrait. When suddenly, he was shot at by a sniper rifle, 3 shots were fired but all of them missed him. Adel was rushed back to his armored vehicle to take him back to his palace.

Shedeed
but my glorious dictator, whether it was the population or as you call it “a troublesome minority”, you must be very careful about your actions from now on. You mustn’t provoke the people any further, that was a clear assassination attempt on your life.

Adel
I am sure it was someone hunting the pigeons before they soil my clothes. My people love me Shedeed, an assassination or any act of violence against me is practically impossible.

Houda
leave him alone now! He needs to rest to lay the stress off his shoulders.

Adel
at least I have one person who understands me in this country..

Narrator
Shedeed leaves the room, with visible frustration showing on his face, but then he comes back shortly holding a cup of lemonade.

Shedeed
There you go my glorious dictator, I apologize for my behavior. Here, drink this to cool you off.

Adel
how nice of you…

Houda
wait Adel! You go ahead first, have a sip of it.

Shedeed
m-me? No thanks, I don’t feel thirsty. Besides, I don’t drink it with poison.

Adel
ha?! Poison?! How can you be a conspirator and an idiot at the same time? Drink it Shedeed!

Narrator
as Shedeed is sipping on his sweet cool death, Adel has another announcement to break to the citizens.

Adel (THROUGH THE BROADCAST SPEAKERS)
My dear citizens, this is dictator decision number 50263; Shedeed, your minister of interior, has suicided himself. Stay just, stay honest.

Adel
what a dog he was.

Houda
my dear, I think you should listen to your citizens’ demands. I don’t want to see something like that happen to you again. Please, listen to them or at least to a representative of them.

Adel
you know what? I give up, I will listen to a representative, after all I am a democratic man of reason.

Narrator
Adel requested a representative of the citizens to be brought to his palace. A manifestation of a walking skeleton was brought to him, starving, anorexic and struggling to breath. The man was given a chance to speak to Adel.

Adel
are you 1488?

1488
yes that is me.

Adel
how is your father 600?

1488
he died of hunger.

Adel
your father dies of hunger and you come meet me in this posh-state? How dare you?! have some respect for the dead and reduce your luxuries.

Go ahead please speak. speak, you came here to say your word, go ahead and talk. You are the representative of the citizens, so talk. speak you son of the citizens, speak with no fear. Speak your mind, speak your heart and speak your thoughts. Go ahead speak, Without fear! Fear nothing. Fear no tyrant. Fear none and nobody, you are free and were born free. This is your historical moment. Speak for you are in the face of justice and democracy. Speak your sense and your soul. Today you stand in front of your servant not your ruler. Go ahead and speak…
I will ask you a question, here is it and I want you to answer me; do you support me, my rule and my government absolute support or are you with  the opposition?
Without fear! Speak, speak with freedom, speak with democracy. Go ahead answer my question dear citizen.

1488
The dictator that asks for the people’s suppo..

Adel
Thank you dear citizen.
By the constitution I gave you the floor, and by my force I took it back. Thank you, go home.

Houda
Adel, for my sake please let the man speak, give him some more time.

Adel
as a sign of my democracy and good-will, I shall grant you another chance to speak. I will ask you the question again; do you support me, my rule and my government absolute support or are you from the opposition?

1488
The dictator that asks for the people’s support isn’t a dictator. What does it mean if somebody supports you or not, if you apply yourself by force upon us anyway.

Adel
I have no idea what are you talking about, my people love me.

1488
only your media says so. Give me the microphone for a minute and I will show you that the whole world supports us the citizens.

Adel
do you know how much is the microphone worth? You useless dog. You want me to give you the microphone so that you can gather all the other illiterates behind you and pretend that you matter?!

1488
you have been ruling us for 20 years now, nobody has any benefit from the people’s illiteracy but you..

Adel
I did all of this for my country! I granted you freedom and when you first use it, you use it against me! You are all my servants!

Houda
Don’t listen to him, your people have always been happy.

1488
The people were never happy, they were simply never happy. You pay the people less, so they work less. You tax them more, so they take bigger bribes. You force projects that they hate upon them, so they ruin them to get back at you. Trust me sir, nobody can fool the people, not in Natsrugzo or anywhere else in the world.

Adel
I asked for a representative of the citizens and you are what I get sent? They send me someone to lead an uproar? What kind of joke is this! as long as you are away from my throne you all think it is easy. You are trying to rule from home, what about me what is my use then?

Shedeed! Come here, arrest this insect and get him away from my face.

Houda
my dear, don’t listen to any of that, they are all jealous of you. They all think that they can be rulers and take your place. Even the illiterate and the ones without a primary school degree..

Adel
Listen to me, I am getting tired of this, I don’t trust anybody anymore apart from you. I must make a final decision about it.

Adel (THROUGH THE BROADCAST SPEAKERS)
My dear citizens, this is dictator decision number 181942; Houda, my wife, is now the vice president of Natsrugzo. Stay just, stay honest.

Houda
I can’t describe how happy I am right now…

Adel (THROUGH THE BROADCAST SPEAKERS)
My dear citizens, this is dictator decision number 181943; Houda, your vice president, will be executed. Stay just, stay honest.

Houda
what was that for! What did I do?!

Adel
now that you are the vice president, you are hunting for my throne you snake! Guards, come arrest her and take her away from here!

Narrator
The guards whispered some words to Houda prior to arresting her.

Guard
he hasn’t left any man better than him to rule the country, what do you say?

Houda
arrest him.

Houda (THROUGH THE BROADCAST SPEAKERS)
My dear citizens, this is dictator decision number 1; Your former vice president, me Houda Hatem, is now the ruler of the country. Stay just, stay honest.

Houda
Guards, gun him down.

                                                                      THE END