Mel’s Ten Tips – Life in the Time of the CoronaVirus

There are two things you can do during these trying times. The first is to take all the proper precautions: quarantine, distancing yourself from others, washing hands obsessively with soap and alcohol gel, not coughing or sneezing on people you like (or even tolerate). The second is to pass your time productively. Of course you can visit museums and hear concerts (virtually, of course). 

But here are my tips for really making the best use of your time. And being an active participant, not just a spectator.

Tip One:

When was the last time you counted the number of electrical outlets in your home? How many do you think there are? You may be surprised. This is an activity you can do with the kids, just ensuring that they do not stick sharp objects (especially metal ones) into the holes. After all, the hospitals have enough on their hands.

Bonus Tip: You can also count the number of floor tiles. This may come in handy someday, although I’m not sure I know why.

Tip Two:

Invent some new words. Lewis Carroll did it. I do it (whether I mean to or not). If you haven’t heard of the free game of Fraspination, then stop procrastinating. Let’s see whether you can invent words that even Google has never heard of.

Tip Three:

Stand on your balcony and sing your favorite Dean Martin song. If you have one. Here’s mine. As you can see, I’m an eternal optimist and praying for better times.

Tip Four:

Practice creative thinking. Think of ten things you can do with a banana. Then think of ten things you can’t do with a banana. Then eat the banana.

Bonus Tip: You can repeat this with yogurt, honey, screwdrivers, other things you have around the house. Except remember to drink the screwdrivers.

Tip Five:

Learn to sing. If Fudge can do it, you can do it too!

Tip Six:

Look for your missing AirPod or earring. Without asking your dog.

Tip Seven:

Memorize the number pi to a thousand decimal points. Be the first in your city!

3.141592653589793238462643383279502884197169399375105820974944592307816406286208998628034825342117067982148086513282306647093844609550582231725359408128481117450284102701938521105559644622948954930381964428810975665933446128475648233786783165271201909145648566923460348610454326648213393607260249141273724587006606315588174881520920962829254091715364367892590360011330530548820466521384146951941511609433057270365759591953092186117381932611793105118548074462379962749567351885752724891227938183011949129833673362440656643086021394946395224737190702179860943702770539217176293176752384674818467669405132000568127145263560827785771342757789609173637178721468440901224953430146549585371050792279689258923542019956112129021960864034418159813629774771309960518707211349999998372978049951059731732816096318595024459455346908302642522308253344685035261931188171010003137838752886587533208381420617177669147303598253490428755468731159562863882353787593751957781857780532171226806613001927876611195909216420198938095257201065485863278865936153381827968230301952035301852968995773622599413891249721775283479131515574857242454150695950829533116861727855889075098381754637464939319255060400927701671139009848824012858361603563707660104710181942955596198946767837449

Tip Seven:

Memorize a play by Shakespeare. Hamlet, for example.

In Russian.

Tip Eight:

Solve a very complicated jigsaw puzzle.

Tip Nine:

Write your own nonsensical (or semisensical) ebook on the Ourboox platform and share it with the unsuspecting world. I just did. And here’s Allon’s! We’re waiting for yours.

Tip Ten:

Send me a new tip! I will cite you. [email protected]