A Bogeyman Christmas

C is for the crowded shops

when trying to get served.

H is for the horrid gifts

that are quite undeserved.

R is for the rubbish

shown on telly every year.

I is for the idiots

who cannot hold their beer.

S is for the singers

who will send me round the bend.

T is for the tacky cards

the season makes us send.

M is for the misery

that Scrooge and I both feel.

A is for the acid

indigestion with each meal.

S is for the sentimental

guff I’m forced to spout.

– so Merry Christmas everyone –

I hope you don’t get gout.