Bernard the Bogeyman

Bernard the Bogeyman, horrid and warty,
scarer of children since seventeen forty
lived in a shed that was falling to pieces
and wore an old suit that had dozens of creases.

He had long bony fingers and terrible breath.
He’d tap on the window and scare you to death.
He was there for a moment and then he was gone
so the legend of Bernard went rumbling on.

Scratches at windows left hideous hints
and sometimes the children found strange muddy prints.
“It’s surely a monster all nasty and twisted
that visits at midnight” the young ones insisted.

And Billy O’Brian at seventy four
had pictures of vampires and werewolves galore.
He said he was certain he’d caught a brief sight
of something appalling that passed in the night.

Old Bernard would sit all alone like some monk
beneath wooden boxes and all sorts of junk.
But when all the owls started hooting their hoots
he’d pad through the garden on scary pursuits.

Through bushes he’d push, up embankments he’s scramble;
he knew every twig, every birch every bramble.
In yards he would creep, and up drainpipes he’d shin,
in search of the bedroom the children were in.

Ready and willing to dabble in terror
until one strange evening he made a grave error.
That night someone’s window had been left ajar
and Bernard the Bogeyman went far too far.

For a bogeyman’s free when he’s out on his rounds
but a living room carpet is quite out of bounds.
Though scaring the children was Bernard’s sole aim
he found himself part of a terrier’s game.

For there on the carpet a mongrel called Patch
jumped out of his box for a wrestling match.
Now Patch wouldn’t sit, wouldn’t roll, wouldn’t beg
but he sank his sharp teeth in the bogeyman’s leg.

Amid the commotion the family were roused.
while Bernard returned to the place he was housed.
Dad cried, “It’s a burglar who’s fled from old Patch.
Let’s fasten each window, each lock and each latch.”

So Bernard sat silently nursing his limb
as the scene with the mongrel was bothering him.
And Patch sat and whimpered for over a week
They say he was sick as a dog (so to speak).

But only young Billy saw Patch looking pale
and the postman was free to deliver the mail.
So when you are dreading the bogeyman’s stare
he’s probably cursing his fortune somewhere!