A is for Adults
Copyright © 2014
An Adult is someone who has forgotten how to be young.
Adults are too busy to look at the stars at night.
Adults forget to think about how Amazing the world is.
Adults forget how much fun it is to be silly.
They take themselves very seriously.
They forget how liberating it is to walk down the street
and just
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Bark like a dog.
Adults wear Bathing suits when they go swimming in public places and are careful to Behave properly.
Adults get married and have
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Children.
Adults like to watch their young children have fun and do things that the adults Cannot do anymore.
Children love walking down the street barking,
and being silly,but Adults
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Don’t.
Children like to Do things.
Adults tell children what not to Do.
Adults are afraid that someone might notice them behaving childishly.
Adults worry about what
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Everyone else thinks about them
And they try to do what Everyone Else is doing.
If they do not know, they ask an Expert.
Experts are adults who think they know Everything.
One Example of an Expert who thought he knew Everything was Dr.
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Frankenstein.
Dr. Frankenstein made a monster by accident.
Lucky For us, it is just a story.
The monster was all covered in
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Goo.
Children love Goo.
They love anything that is Gooey and sticky.
They love finger painting. Adults hate Goo and Guck and finger painting.
They run to wash their
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Hands and Hair.
Adults Hate when their Hands and Hair aren’t clean, but children love when they are dirty.
Children love to eat with their Hands, but adults teach them to use forks, spoons and knives
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Instead.
Instead Is a word that adults like to use Instead of saying “yes”.
If a child wants to eat Icky chocolate, an adult will offer the child broccoli or cauliflower Instead.
Sometimes children like to do things
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Just because.
Adults do not understand what “Just because” means.
Everything they do has a reason.
That is why they do not like to dress up like Jokers,
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Kings, and Knights,
except when no one is
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Looking.
That is because they are worried that someone may Laugh at them for being different.
Adults are always worried about
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Making Monkeys of themselves.
Men worry about becoming
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Nannies,
even if that is what they really want to do.
Some men are Nurses, but they call themselves male Nurses.
That way they think no one will say something about them
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Out loud, where Other people might hear and laugh.
Adults are
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People who like to laugh about other People, as long as the other People don’t know.
Children are like that too, but they don’t care if the People they are laughing at do know.
Sometimes they even tell them.
Adult People talk Politely, even when they are saying something that is not Polite at all.
Children are only Polite when they want to be, because they would rather say what they feel like saying.
For example, they might see a man standing in a
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Queue and make fun of his bald head.
Loudly.
Children like to be
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Really mean.
And they don’t care if what they really mean is really mean to
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Someone else.
Sometimes children Say Stuff just to Say it.
Sometimes children
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Test their parents to see whether They are listening.
They say Things like “The Thicket is Thicker in Thorns”
just to see whether Their parents are paying any attention.
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Usually they aren’t.
Unless the child causes and Uproar or is
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Very quiet.
When children are Very quiet, parents get Very
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Worried and go to see What’s going on.
Children like to ask questions beginning with
Why?
Who?
Where?
When and What?
When asked the question “When did you take a bath”, children prefer to answer
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Xtra quietly,
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“Yesterday”, even if it was three Years ago.
Children also prefer to watch TV programs about
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Zebras, Zorba, Zorro and Zimbabwe rather than to go to sleep.
But when they do fall asleep, they make lots of
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZs.
Just like
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Adults
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Thank you for reading my book!
If you like it, you might also want to read:
What Kids Want. Really.
Read more about me and see ALL my books on Ourboox (I have many)
Or even better, create a book of your own!!!
Here is a tutorial to help you get started on your own voyage as an Ourboox contributor! And finally, you can always write me at [email protected]
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Published: Feb 23, 2014
Latest Revision: Sep 2, 2015
Ourboox Unique Identifier: OB-3660
Copyright © 2014
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