The Marinados – The Religion for the Millenium – With Don Levett

Don Levett and I were wandering around Lisbon talking about belief. Religions can be fine, but they often end up becoming sectarian, pitting people against people, resulting in bloodshed, war and hatred.

So why not have a religion to which everyone on earth belongs automatically? Where it doesn’t matter how observant you are? ​

So ready or not, welcome to the first universal religion ever: Marinados.

Some believe that the name derives from the matron saint of the religion, Marianna who served us so smilingly at the restaurant. Others contend that it comes from the embalming practices of the religion (see later).

The religion embraces the color yellow, which is the color of the sun, the color of at least one submarine, and the color of the building we saw when we came up with the idea.

Oh, and there was a sign.

There are some principles, customs and laws but you don’t have to practice any of them to be a Marinado. There is no way to renounce the religion. We’re all together now. The liturgy of the religion is based on the literal interpretation of the texts of the songs of the Beatles, otherwise known as the four fathers. The non-canonical lyrics they wrote after 1969 may also be considered. Imagine!

The religion has no physical church. Prayer is wherever Beatles songs are heard and sung. ​

​Another of the key features of the religion is that weeks can now be lengthened to include a new day, “Yellowday”, which can be inserted (optionally of course) between any Sunday and any Monday. On Yellowday, those celebrating should paint one or both ears yellow to distinguish themselves from those who have gone straight to Monday. This is in fulfilment of the prophecy “Eight Days a Week is not enough to show I care.”

Upon departing the physical world the departed can be embalmed in either honey lemon sauce, mustard, or yellow custard. Yellow custard is the preferable choice for those who have led a less than desirable existence and hope that some of the sweetness will rub off in the afterlife.

Photo: Early followers

And sweet converts.