Finally, A Universal Religion, The Marinados – With Don Levett

Why not have a religion which everyone on earth belongs to automatically? Where it doesn’t matter how observant you are? ​Where all you need is love?

And then we saw the sign.

So welcome to Marinados, the first universal religion ever. How did the name arise? Was it from the heavens? Some believe that it comes from the name of Santa Marianna who served us so smilingly at the restaurant.

Others  contend that it comes from the embalming practices of the religion (see further).

The religion embraces the color yellow, which is the color of the sun, the color of at least one submarine, and the color of the building we saw when we came up with the idea.

There are some principles, customs and laws of the religion, but you don’t have to practice any of them. There is no way to renounce the religion either. We’re all together now.

The teachings of the religion and its official liturgy are based on literal interpretations of the texts of the songs of the Beatles, otherwise known as the four fathers  (some may want to include the non-canonical lyrics written after 1969 by individual fathers). Pete and Stu are regarded as foreuncles. Brian and Sir George are called the “Great Judes”.

The religion has no physical church. Prayer is wherever Beatles songs are heard and sung. ​

One of the key features of the religion is that weeks can now be lengthened to include a new day, “Yellowday” which can be inserted (optionally of course) between Sunday and Monday. Yellowday is a day of fest.

On Yellowday, those who celebrate the extra day share ears of corn (to distinguish themselves from those who go straight on to Monday). This fulfils the prophecy “Eight Days a a Week”. The proper greeting to someone celebrating Yellowday is “From me to you”. Or, “Lend me you ear”.

Another option for those who are allergic to corn, or don’t like it getting stuck between their teeth, is to share ice cream.

Upon death the departed can choose to be marinaded in either mustard sauce, or yellow custard.

Yellow custard might be the preference of those who have lived a less than desirable life and hope that some of the sweetness will rub off in the afterlife. The proper greeting upon meeting a bereaving family member is “In my life, I loved him (her) more.” Or “May Maxwell’s hammer keep a safe distance from us all”.