THE CAT THAT CAME BACK FROM THE DEAD

Before I was born my parents had a cat named Shnapy.

It loved to play outside.

One winter day my parents came home and found Shnapy dead.

My mother was very sad.

My parents buried Shnapy on a rainy Saturday night.

The next day my parents did not go to work.

They stayed at home all day.

It was a very sad day.

But that night when they opened the door they saw….Shnapy.

To this day my parents say that Shnapy has only 8 lives left.

The Cat’s 9 Lives Song

Looking down from Heaven, I see my flat carcass (in front of 7/11.)
Wish I could say it was the first time, but I’m a cat. (So in terms of life, she’s had nine.)
The first time I died, as I remember, I landed on my feet. (But, it was into a blender.)
My next life, my Fancy Feast cans had somethin’ in them. That really fancy thing (was botulism).
Life three, easy, nappin’ on some jeans. The problem was the jeans (were in a washing machine.)
Don’t feel sorry for me. I’ve had nine times the lives you could ever dream.

Life four
I became a pillow on Pinterest.
Life five
I died from shear disinterest.
Life six
I had the urge to feel lava on my whiskers.
Life seven
Chased a bird into a wood chipper.
Life eight
Donated my guts for tennis rackets. But, it turns out they don’t even use cat guts! Can you put that in brackets?
We’ll add it in post!
I hope this song wasn’t a drag, but I just had to let the cat out of the bag!