Conversations with Fudge – Where did I Get My Name?

Fudge: Hey there, boss! Can I ask you something?

Me: Sure, Fudge, what’s up?

Fudge: Not much, since the operation. You know that.

Me: You know, I meant to say “How are you? What’s doing? That sort of thing.”

Fudge: People are such obfuscating creatures.

Me: I didn’t know that word.

Fudge: You should read more. It means you are purposefully unclear.

Me: I wish you’d quit teaching me English. What is on your canine mind?

Fudge: Hot dog. Why do people call them hot dogs?

Me: I don’t think that anyone knows.

Fudge: They don’t look anything like dogs hot or cold.

Me: Right you are.

Fudge: Can I have one?

Me: No. Is that all?

Fudge: No. What I really wanted to know was where my name comes from.  Who gave me my given name? You?

Me: Well it comes from the word “Fudge”. Your colour reminded us of fudge.

Fudge: My fur colour? Isn’t fudge more like dark brown?

Me: Yes, but there are other categories other than chocolate.

Fudge: And that’s it? You’re not being less than truthful with me, are you?

Me: Well…

Fudge: Well?

Me: Well there was the consistency thingie.

Fudge: Consistency of what?

Me: Well, you know…what one does…

Fudge: You mean excrement? You called me after my own crap?

Me: It was a secondary.

Fudge: Let me tell you something. I can smell your shit for miles. Your so exasperating!

Me: Is that all?

Fudge: I’ll give you a reason to call me Fudge!!

Me: What are you doing? You’re taking a crap here on my new shag carpet!!!

Fudge: Exactly. Now you can go fudge yourself.