If I Were A Real Vamp

The first and also the last part ’cause this great work of art is so small that you can print it and put it in your pocket. 

I’ve been interested in vampires since childhood. These creatures attract me with their mystery and power. From an early age I fantasize about having big fangs and flying over the night city in the shape of a bat.

I’ll be 20 in a couple of months. And I still wanna become a vamp. Yes. I mean, why not? Don’t even try to tell me that you’ve never had a dream like mine.

So, what If I were a real vamp?

At first, I would probably have the tiniest and cutest fangs because even now my teeth are really small. And also my eyes would definitely be yellow because they sometimes turned that color when I was a kid. Now I have ginger hair. It makes me look like Victoria from “Twilight”. Just look at her and you’ll see it yourself:

OK, now let’s talk some talk ’bout my vampire personality because it’s more interesting than just comparing me to some strange ginger woman.

As a real vamp, I would definitely be the one who is constantly thirsty and behaves like a local psychologist. I would also protect animal rights and allow the entire clan to drink human blood. Animals, unlike people, do nothing wrong with others, let them enjoy their life.

If I had the honor of becoming the head of a vampire clan, I would be the most powerful and fair ruler. “Queen” songs would be my clan’s anthem. But the real God would be Playboi Carti. His Vamp Anthem kinda slayed, so we would listen to it a lot. Maybe even all day. We’ll see…

Lemme say some words about love. Love’s important. I love to love and I love to be loved. I’d have to turn my boyfriend into a vampire, so we could always be together. Not sure If he’d like it… Anyways, he has no choice. I guess he’d look like a character from “What we do in the shadows”. Even now he sometimes acts like Collin Robinson – an energetic vampire.

Talking about geography, I would place my clan in Estonia. Why? I used to learn their language. It’s amazing. I’d even turn my favorite estonian singer Jüri Pootsmann into a vampire. I think he has the right vibe for my clan. Check out his deadpan face and pale skin, I’m in love!

So, it was, it is and it will be my biggest dream. Maybe one day I’ll wake up with yellow eyes somewhere im Tallinn…

Aitäh lugemise eest, ilusat õhtut!