PERVERSE PROFESSIONS

ACCOUNTANT

Check and balance what you took.

Who should know you cooked the books.

ARCHITECT

Building sand castles in the air,

For that you need an artistic flair.

AUTHOR

If you’ve got a lot to say,

be a writer,

You’re licensed to print rubbish

in any way

FATSO

If one’s too bloated, be a fat man.

That’s a profession too.

With “eat,drink and be merry”,

there’s a lot to do

BURGLAR

if you’re not really cut out for work,

be a burglar or a robber or just a jerk.

DENTIST

If you cant make doctor,

then use the drill.

The patient’s fees will pay the bills.

TECHNICIAN

With internet and email,

you’re in the know.

For Damsels in distress,

way to go!

GARDENER

If moving around is too hard.

Be a gardener

and stay in your own back yard.

GENERAL

A Major General wouldn’t be bad,

With all of the army,

his to command.

GOALIE

The name of the game is to watch the ball.

Remember, stay focused on the right goal

PILOT

For excitement, be an airline man.

Between take-off and landing ,

have fun while you can.

HAIRDRESSER

In your hands ,

the power to create,

a kinky look for all your mates.

ILLUSTRATOR

Scribbling away is fun at times.

Just hope that someone will like your rhymes.

LAWYER

The other side of crooked,

persuading the judge he never took it.

LITTLE MAN

If you’re running away from it all,

find your place,

and make yourself small.

MASSEUSE

Its got to hurt before it heals.

Your strong hands will make them squeal.

MOTHER

Raising kids is such a pleasure.

Problem is, you get no leisure.

WAITRESS

Tolerate the customer who gives you the lip.

The name of the game is getting the tip.

SURGEON

If you have the urge to take a knife:

Cut ,sew and squish to save a life.

STEWARDESS

Fly around the world,

if you’ve got the nerve.

it’s very rewarding

to the travelers you serve.

PAINTER

Be as cynical as you want to be.

Just show the art critic what he wants to see.

OBESE

Watching your weight

is a life sentence.

Gorging and dieting ,

with no repentance

PHOTOGRAPHER.

A paparazzi’s life can be a curse.

Showing people at their  very worst.

POLITICIAN

In actual fact a politician is just that.

Make a profession of talking through ones hat.

BUM

And if you just tire of it all,

Go live on an island,

And just piss on the world.