Mac Miller : the emotional story of Swimming in Circles

Among all the albums I have listened to so far,

only a small part of them really affected me.

Well, one thing is for sure, none of them affected me as much as “Swimming” and “Circles” by Mac Miller.

“Swimming”‘s creation has grown between 2016 and 2018.

A time period during which Mac Miller went through a lot, including his breakup with Ariana Grande.

She was a muse for Mac Miller, especially for the creation of “The Divine Feminine” an album praising love through any shape of it.

behind this perfect relationship was hiding a lot of suffering.

Mac Miller had for a couple of years now, problems linked with alcohol and drugs, which were interfering with his relationships

But the production of this “Swimming” album was still going on.

A very important album for him because we can consider it as a “remedy” album. Mac Miller wanted to transcribe in music with this album, the moment when he feels the best :

it is when he is underwater.

And after all these years of suffering during which, drugs was his only way out, it is time for him to get his feet on the ground, as indicated by the intro of the album: “Come Back To Earth”.

He decides to start his album with truly melancholic and full of regrets lyrics and he mentions his desire to escape from his mind which is the reason for his unhappiness.

His state of mind sounds alarming but Mac Miller will give us some more information during the next part of the song, which will expose the whole purpose of “Swimming”.

Mac Miller is telling us that he is slowly leaving the abyss where he is now able to swim in, hoping that one day he will completely get his head out of the water far from his problems.

Self Care :

Mac Miller will have to do something mandatory in this process of getting better: taking care of himself.

This song splits into two parts, Mac Miller talks about his flaws and the difficulties he has faced in the past.

But still, he realizes he has to take care of himself.

In the second part of the song called “Oblivion”, Mac Miller realizes what is not good in his life, and decides to appreciate it in a different way. So this is all the process we will follow during the whole “Swimming” album.

Mac Miller will have some euphoria or egotrip moments giving the fake feeling that he is completely confident with himself.

We can feel this through songs like “Hurt Feelings”, “Ladders”, “Self Care” or “Conversation pt1”.

But this is just a mask, these egotrip moments can be associated with moments the artist is taking drugs, altering his behavior, and making him feel good in the short term.

Unfortunately, the descent can be violent…

Mac Miller opens up about his sadness on the track “Dunno”,

a song dedicated to his relationship with Ariana Grande.

In the final part of the album, we can find the song “2009”

which might be one of the most beautiful songs Mac Miller has ever written (It is, personally, my favorite song of all time).

It is a fully nostalgic song in which Mac Miller talks about his journey since the release of his breakout mixtape “KIDS” in 2009.

(11:33)

This song is a way for Mac Miller to leave the past behind so he can fully focus on the future and accept his problems so he can better live with them.

“So It Goes” is the perfect song to close this album.

Mac Miller is finally accepting to live his life how it goes

and reassures himself that no matter which obstacles he will have to face, this is how life works.

Reaching Redemption can take a lot of time, and even with the journey Mac Miller has already done, he still has a long way to go find peace.

From the abyss to the surface, Mac Miller has come a long way.

He feels free as if he was flying with his head in the clouds.

“And don’t you know that sunshine don’t feel right when you inside all day, I wish it was nice out, but it looked like rain, gray skies and I’m drifting, not living forever. They told me it only gets better” (Come Back To Earth)

“I know I probably need to do better, fuck whoever, keep my shit together, You never told me being rich was so lonely. Nobody know me, oh well, hard to complain from this five-star hotel” (Small Worlds)

Mac Miller died from an overdose a month after the release of “Swimming” in the middle of his artistic redirection and his fight regarding his health.

This loss will shock and affect a lot of fans and artists all around the world who will gather to pay tribute to Mac Miller at the Blue Side Park, in Pittsburgh, his home town.

But Mac had something planned for us,

while working on “Swimming”, he worked on a twin that will come along to complete the narrative arc of “Swimming”.

Jon Brion, his producer, with the approval of Mac’s family, finished it so the album can be released.

This album is called “Circles” and will come out in January 2021, almost a year and a half after Mac’s death,

and will once and for all close the story that started in 2018.

We saw that during “Swimming”, Mac Miller is fighting against his demons to get his head out of the water

which will be a success by the end of the album when he accepts to swim instead of drowning.

It would be logical that “Circles” will be the part when Mac Miller gets completely out of the water

but this is not the case…

A promotional single called “Good News” will be released

and will set the tone for the whole album.

In this song, we can find a Mac Miller, still anxious about the world he is living in, and questioning stuff regarding himself

because he talks about fans and media’s paradox, wanting for Mac to get better but also likes him better when he feels down.

We can see a big contrast between lyrics full of wonders, melancholy or anxiety, with a warm production giving the song a beautiful tone.

The album opens up with the track “Circles”

which will remind us of “Swimming”‘s intro “Come Back To Earth”.

In this song, Mac gives us an update about his state of mind, and it seems that he made up his mind.

Indeed, “Circles” is not the happy album we could’ve expected it to be.

The difference on this album is that it is not a fight against addiction anymore.

In “Circles” Mac Miller accepts his fate, and his difficulties, the same way he started to do it at the end of “Swimming”.

“Blue World” the third track is one of the most interesting

because it summarizes in a perfect way what Mac Miller is trying to say through this “Circles” album.

The song starts with a sample from The Four Freshman’s “It’s a blue world”, setting a melancholic tone to the song.

Indeed, the choice of the title and of the sample is a reference to this sad state of mind that the Blues is made of.

“Blue World” becomes a song full of hope in which Mac Miller is using his story and his experience to relativize his situation and to tell his fans to never give up.

Another big difference between “Swimming” and “Circles” is that in “Swimming” Mac’s mind was a dark place causing all his anxiety, but in “Circles”, his mind is a way for him to escape from reality.

Even though Mac Miller seems to feel better on the major part of the album, there are some regrets regarding his past relationship still present in the song “Woods” for example.

Even though Mac Miller seems to feel better on the major part of the album, there are some regrets regarding his past relationship still present in the song “Woods” for example.

But Mac really tries to stay as positive as possible.

And even if he is not the happiest person on earth, it’s already a lot when we take a look back at where he comes from.

“Circles” is the ultimate introspection that will lead to acceptance.

“That’s On Me” will confirm Mac’s state of mind.

He knows that he has to take care of himself and he is conscious of his responsibility for his well-being.

At first sight, we can think that “Once A Day” is a love song that Mac Miller dedicates to his lover.

And it is not 100% wrong. Because it is indeed a love song, but dedicated to himself. He wakes up, goes to sleep, and fight his problems with himself.

In the end, Mac Miller does not really get out of the water,

but it is not that bad when we take a look back at his journey.

In “Swimming” we followed his fight against his demons hoping he will swim instead of drowning.

On “Circles’ this is a success, but they’re is no further improvement.

Mac Miller’s state of mind is the same as at the end of “Swimming”: more in peace and less tortured.

Everyone can find a part of himself in these albums.

because among their tragic dimension, “Swimming” and “Circles” highlight into music, questions, fights, and doubts that make us the people we are.

Worries about the future, questioning about our mission down the earth, our life is made of doubts that will always be here.

Being a human is making mistakes, but it is also fighting to avoid doing them again.

Being a human is being sensitive, happy, lost, and sometimes sad. And even when we feel like nobody is understanding us, there will always be somewhere, something to hold on to.

because you don’t need to be the happiest to be happy.