Alive and Aware

Maayan is four-years-old, with golden hair and blue eyes that sparkle like crisp spring falls.

“Mommy, tell me the story about my name, please. Don’t leave ANYTHING out,” she said.

Her mother said, “Ok, do you have on your VERY best listening ears?”

Maayan nodded excitedly. She climbed into her mother’s lap and laid her head gently on her mother’s shoulder.

“One day, before you were ever born, I was walking in the woods. I had been gone a long time…” said her mother.

Maayan asked, “More than a hundred minutes?”

“Yes,” said her mother. “I don’t know how long I had been walking, but I know that the sun was getting lower in the sky. I was a little scared that I would not get out of the woods before it got dark, but…”

Maayan interrupted, “Mommy, you should not have been walking all alone, ‘specially when it was almost nighttime. That is dangerous.”

“Well,” said her mother, “You are probably right. We really should not walk alone at night, but it was not dark yet, and I was already a grown-up, and I told your Daddy where I was going before I left.” She continued, “Do you know what happened then?”

Maayan’s eyes grew as big as violets and her face lit up as if she had not been told the same story at least two hundred times. She smiled and said, “Tell me, tell me, pleeease.”

Her mother said, “I am so happy that you like this story.” She continued, “Well, I knew that I had to head home, so I started walking back the same way that I came. I stepped on some fallen leaves…”

“Crunch, crunch, crunch,” said Maayan. “Like that, Mommy?” she asked.

“Exactly,” said her mother. “I stopped and looked down at my feet, and I saw beautiful orange and yellow leaves. Then, I heard something that I could not hear before.”

“My favorite part!” said Maayan, as her smile widened.

Maayan’s mother said, “I heard flowing water, so I went to look for it. I followed my VERY best listening ears to a wonderful place where the setting sun looked like it was melting into this lovely little stream of clear blue water. I saw yellow and orange leaves floating by, and the rays of the sun reflecting in the water made it look lit up, like the corner of your room where your night-light is on, or like a gentle glowing fire.”

Maayan pulled a blanket around her and nuzzled deeply into her mother’s lap.

Her mother said, “The water was very still, except one little ribbon of water that flowed over some smooth brown rocks – like a tiny waterfall in the middle of an otherwise motionless world. The rocks looked as if someone had purposely stacked them there – just like that for the water to peacefully shape as it flowed over them.”

“Maybe G-d did,” said Maayan.

“Maybe,” said her mother. “You are very wise and sooo sweet.” Maayan’s mother grabbed her and said, “I could eat you up, but I won’t, ‘cause then I wouldn’t have you anymore.”

They both laughed. “Want to hear more?” asked the mother.

“Yes, we haven’t even gotten to the part about my name,” Maayan said.

“Ok,” said the mother. “I was watching the sun saying goodnight to the woods. I watched it almost disappear into the stream, and bounce off the little waterfall, and then sink even further in the sky.”

Maayan’s mother twirled her daughter’s hair and said, “I saw swirls of golden, like the color of your hair, dancing in the ripples of the water, and I imagined that the leaves carried ALL of my worries away as they drifted further and further from where I stood. I was so happy that I started crying – the good kind of cry, not the bad kind. My heart felt full and my soul felt complete. My tummy felt full of softly fluttering butterflies.”

Maayan tickled her mother’s stomach as she listened to the story. Her mother continued, “It was like the butterflies were tickling me from the inside, making me excited but calm at the very same time. I sat there for a few minutes, just listening and watching – and I realized how incredible this world is. I felt like I was waking up to a wonderful life that I had not been paying attention to before, one full of energy and love.”

“Neat, huh, Mommy?” asked Maayan.

Her mother said, “Very, very neat, Maayan.” She continued, “I never wanted to let go of all of those great things that I saw and heard and felt. It was such an incredible experience. I knew I had to get home, so your Daddy would not be worried. I walked home, all the way thinking and feeling how wonderful it is to be alive and aware. I told your Daddy all about it when I got home. He was really interested and he was a great listener, like he still is, but I figured out that it is hard to put into words what some experiences are like.”

“What happened next?” Maayan asked.

“That is when I decided that I had to do something to keep these moments close to our hearts, but I was not sure yet what that would be.”

Maayan kissed her mother on the cheek and said, “I love you, Mommy.”

“And I love you,” said her mother. Then, she said, “When you were born, I felt like the day that I walked by the stream – except EVEN better, even more alive and aware, even more full. I wanted you to know how much you meant to me and to your Daddy. I wanted you to know how you made us feel. More importantly, I wished for you to always be full of energy and love like that.”

Maayan looked up at her mother and her mother smiled at her and continued telling the story. “So, we named you Maayan. Maayan is the Hebrew word for spring falls, gentle waters that flow and delicately shape everything that they touch, just like you.”

Maayan smiled and kissed her mother again.

“You touched our lives and changed us, like the water changed the rocks, making them smooth. You can do that for everyone that you meet. Every time you say your name, or write your name, remember that. I hope and pray that every time you see flowing water, or changing leaves, or a beautiful sunset, you feel alive and aware – full of energy and love. Even when you see your room lit up by the glow of your nightlight, and years from now, when you see the glow of your own children’s nightlights, I wish that you remember this story and the meaning of your name and how much we love you.”

Maayan’s mother had a tear in her eye as if she had not told the story at least two hundred times, and she said, “That is the end of the story.. and the beginning of something that is too great even for the GREATEST story to tell.”

Maayan giggled. She did not know why her mommy was crying, but her mommy knew that one day she would, and that made her giggle a little too.

The End.