How would you feel if you were me?

I was born a year ago. On July 16th. To a little farm next to Jerusalem. Two months after, two strangers took me to their home in big city. Horrible View!

Now think about my life if you were me. I wake up in the morning, lying on the floor.

I don’t have the ability to go to pee until someone grabs me and takes me down. And for some reason, they are always throwing balls and expecting from me to return them the ball. I don’t understand why every time I bring back the ball they are hugging me and give me a salami.

Then when I have to do number 2, they are saving my shit! What the fuck are they doin’?!

After exciting morning, we are returning home. Each one to his own business. I eat and go back to sleep and they are standing under tap of water,moving their heads quickly with some device inside their mouth and drinking something black.

And then, the biggest moment arrives. They are closing the door and probably think that I’ll fall asleep to the rest of the day or cry. But, what they don’t know that the minute they are leaving the house I bark to Lola, gossip with Emma, Whispering to Spike. I invite all of them to my house, We are taking out the Nargila, drinking some Mojitos, playing Emet O Hova, and talking about boys (also Toto, the gay dug)! I’m doing whatever I want when they are not around! Walk and sleep on the sofa, drink from the toilet, licking the panels, and wrecking everything that comes into my mouth.  Finally, I can do whatever I want!!!!!

At the evening, they are coming back. And I’m just there sitting on my pillow, full of hair they are not bothering to clean. They are opening the door and from this moment to a full 10 minutes I need to be as happy as I can and to chew my tail so much. To dance around them like crazy and to jump on them. And every day it is the same.

Every day the same story.

What would you change if you were me?

Dedicated to all the dog owners.