Jokes and Riddles – Ofakim Merchavia

The moment you look for something

you’ve had in your hands all the time.

Kangaroo

Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house?

Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all.

Danny’s Pocket

Teacher: Danny, if you had 20 shekels in your pocket and 10 shekels fell,

what do you have in your pocket?

Danny: a hole.

What is orange and sounds like a parrot?

A carrot.

                                                                        School?

Mother: “How was school today, Patrick?”

Patrick: “It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!”

Mother: “Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?”

Patrick: “What, school?”

Three crazy men want to escape the crazy house. Outside the crazy house there were three gates, one gate they passed.  Gate two they passed. At the third gate there was a guard next to the gate. There was also a cat.

One crazy man said Let’s make sounds like the cat and we will pass.

They said “Fine”.

One crazy man said “Meyow” and passed.

The other one say “Meyow” and passed.

The third crazy man said “Meyow, I am also a cat.”

The teacher said to Rami ” Rami, you have ten cakes, someone came and asked for one cake, how many cakes do you have? ”

Rami answered ” Ten cakes and a body. “

The king went to the sea and suddenly he drowned.

Who was saved?

The State.

What murmurs but never talks, always runs but never walks, has a bed but doesn’t sleep, has a mouth but never eats?

A river

What key opens a banana?

A monkey!

England: Flavour

USA: Flavor

England: Colour

USA: Color

England: Humour

USA: Humor

England: What are you doing?

USA: Getting rid of u.