Melodie’s Teacher Stories: I just can’t do it any other way!

by Melodie Rosenfeld

Melodie Newman Rosenfeld is a lecturer at an academic teachers college in Israel and has been working with teachers and Read More

Joined Apr 2016
Published Books 9

Author’s note:

Sometimes a person needs absolute quiet to concentrate and works best early in the morning. They can’t possibly accept that other people concentrate better when there’s noise around or when they’re munching on something late at night.

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This story is based on a true critical incident concerning a mom who was in my college class. She grew up in Russia where sitting properly and quietly was the best and only acceptable way to learn well. Would she be open to her middle school son who just couldn’t concentrate when it was too quiet? How would she ever understand that sometimes a learner just can’t learn her way?

For the record, her son was in my college class many years later. He was eternally grateful 🙂

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Marina: “Turn off the TV! Sit at your desk like a mensch! Do your homework like you’re supposed to!”

Boris: “But Mom, I’m getting my homework done!”

Marina: “Nonsense! No one can study when the TV is blaring and you’re sprawled on your bed. Turn it off and sit properly! And stop munching!”

Boris: “But Mom, I just can’t do my homework any other way.”

Marina: “Try harder!”

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Marina grew up in Russia. She was taught that there was only one way to study best – in a chair, at a desk, with quiet. That’s how she studied, it was clearly the best way to study, and she was darned if she was going to let her middle-school son do it any other way.

She also would not let him snack when he was studying, which he insisted on doing.

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The next day, Marina called her friend Anne. They were studying in a college program for English teachers and doing a final project together.

Marina: “Can we get together to work on our project?”

Anne: “How about 9:00 p.m. at my house tonight? My kids will be asleep by then.”

Marina: “Gosh – that’s really late. Couldn’t we meet tomorrow morning early, maybe before your kids get up?”

Anne: “Well, no, they’re up pretty early.”

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Marina drove to Anne’s house and arrived at 9:00 p.m. It was nice and quiet, just like Marina liked it. They sat properly at Anne’s large desk, just like Marina liked it.

They started talking about the project, and soon Marina felt a little drowsy. She was exhausted after a long day of work; clearly no one could pay attention this late at night. She was also a bit distracted by Anne’s munching on crunchy carrots. And the t.v. was on! But Marina didn’t say anything. After all, it was Anne’s house.

Maybe they could try again the next night when she wasn’t so tired.

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The same thing happened the next night, even though Marina hadn’t worked long hours during the day.

She tried her best but the books just didn’t make much sense to her at that hour; she could barely even recall the material.

The partners didn’t get much done.

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Melodie’s Teacher Stories: I just can’t do it any other way! by Melodie Rosenfeld - Ourboox.com

Their project was due soon, so Anne reluctantly agreed to come to Marina’s house early the next morning.

Anne rang Marina’s doorbell at 7:00 a.m. Marina was fresh and eager at this hour; she used her higher-order thinking skills and made connections about the material which seemed impossible the night before.

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Meanwhile, Anne yawned. She munched on raisins which distracted Marina, but at least they didn’t invade Marina’s quiet space like those PacMan, wakka wakka crunchy carrots.

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That afternoon, Marina’s son again insisted on having the TV on while doing his homework and again she insisted he sit in a chair, at his desk, quietly.

“But Mom! I don’t even like the program and I’m not even listening to it.”

His protests went unheeded.

“Just try harder”, she insisted. “No one can do homework while the TV is on. And stop snacking – you’ll get fat.”

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Their college course project was due that week so Anne & Marina went into high gear in the library. Anne kept nibbling heaven-knows-what. Marina finally got up the nerve to ask some questions:

Marina: “Why do you keep snacking when we’re studying?!”

Anne: “If I’m not munching on something, anything, my brain just trots around, eager to gallop off into some far away field of green. Munching helps me to corral it in. I can just focus better.”

Marina: “Well, I’ve never heard of that before. And another thing. How can anyone work so late at night and with the t.v. on?!”

Anne: “Even before kids I had to start my work late at night and with some background noise. That’s when the world slows down for me and I’m at my best.”

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That afternoon, Boris sat on a chair, at a desk, in his quiet room. He had a test tomorrow. He was not getting much studying done.

Marina looked at him, shook her head, and then slowly walked into the kitchen. Reluctantly, she put some celery and carrots on a plate and brought them to his room. She hesitated near the TV and saw that he was observing her expectantly.

She said, “TV is completely distracting!”

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