The Smile that Wouldn’t Go Away

I was never the sort of person who smiled in the morning. Actually, I rarely smiled at all.

But one Monday morning I woke up with a huge smile on my face. I went over to the mirror to have a look. I was grinning from ear to ear! “What a strange thing”, I thought to myself. “What is this all about?” I couldn’t recall dreaming a funny dream. Nothing that had happened the previous day was amusing at all.

I dressed, and made myself a cup of coffee. Usually I’d drink coffee with two teaspoons of sugar and milk. But I made this cup of coffee particularly strong and drank it black. “Perhaps this will wipe this smile off my face”, I thought to myself. I burned my toast (on purpose) and chewed the hard blackened crust. I even added Marmite.  If anything, my grin had widened. I could feel the muscles behind my ears beginning to ache.

“This is ridiculous” I thought. “How will I ever be able to leave the house looking like this?” I went to the wardrobe, chose my most frumpled black clothes, put on shoes that were way too tight and limped to the door. “Whatever will make this go away?” I said to myself.

I got into my car and drove to work. I drove very slowly. Drivers behind me honked their horns in frustration. Someone yelled “Why are you smiling, you Sunday driver on a Monday morning?” I just kept smiling.

Suddenly, I saw my salvation, a police car! I picked up speed and drove much too quickly. Sure enough, I was ordered to stop. But when the policeman saw me smile, he smiled back and waved me on.

I arrived at school. “How will I get from the car to my office?” I thought. I covered my face with a newspaper and ran inside. My secretary ran after me. “What is the matter?” she wanted to know. I just looked at her and smiled. She smiled back and left the office to tell all her friends that I was smiling for no reason. Even though I heard the gossip, I couldn’t stop smiling. Teachers came and went (I was the school principal) and I smiled at all of them. They smiled back. I wanted to reprimand a student in the hallway but could not put on the right face to do so.

I cancelled my teachers’ meeting and instead went to see the dentist. “Doctor” he said, “I woke up this morning with a smile on my face. Please take it off.” The dentist made a filling without giving me a needle. It hurt terribly, but I kept smiling.

I read sad books, watched horror movies. I showered with cold water. Nothing helped.

In the end, I had to leave my job as school principal and look for a new line of work.

So children, you wanted to know how I became a circus clown. Now you know!!! Now off to bed!!! Sweet dreams!!